1 Corinthinas 13:4-8
“Love
is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with
the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.”
My
hope is through breaking down this scripture by using some possibly
outlandish scenarios that you can learn how to apply a love like God intended
to your marriage.
When I don’t understand… Love is patient!
I’ve asked
him a million times to take out the trash. Why am I still doing it? Honey,
eventually he’s going to catch on but better than disrespecting him; treat him
with love. Keep cooking, cleaning and taking care of his kids without
complaining and trust me, he will soon see how great not only your love but
your respect is for him and he will in turn say
When he walks through the door after a hard day… Love is kind!
Now this one has to be one of the harder ones for me! We
have to remember that just because we had a bad day at work, or our kid got
detention for the 15th time this Month, or we had to deal with a
lunatic on ebay… None of this is the fault of our significant other! So, test yourself the next time you are in a permanent
state of frustration and the blood vessels in your eyeballs are about to
explode.
I understand that
maybe we can’t all live in a constant state of sunshine, rainbows, unicorns and
cotton candy but we can at least try to lay aside that weight of STRESS and choose Kindness towards the ones we love most!
When I’m home with sick kids while he has adult conversations… It does not envy!
All the Moms say “Amen!” Sometimes as a Mom,
it’s easy to forget who you are as an individual. You are always know as “Michael’s
Wife” or “Corban
& Logan’s Mom” Does
anyone know your birth given name? If they do, they can’t spell it… Anyways, we
have to remember that no matter where we are in life, we may be dating and want
marriage, we may be newlyweds that want to get out of our tiny apartment, we
may be stuck in the friend zone. God has a reason for you being where you are.
Stages and Seasons of life don’t last forever.
Do not envy the place you are
not. It will soon become deep seeded and take you away from your purpose.
When I got a raise at work and he got laid off… It does not boast!
My husband got laid off yesterday but I got a raise
today!! Most any man has one purpose once he gets married and that is to
provide for his family. Not being able to do so only makes him feel like a
failure. Even your good intentions to keep the family a float can come across
like “we
are better off without you.” This is just a fictional example of
boasting.
Mark 10:8 “No
longer two but one.” What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours. We are leading separate
lives but instead complimenting each other so lets not get stuck bragging about
who’s better and who’s worse.
It can also be the guitar player thinking no one else can
handle the music because “Hey, did you hear me kill that song last
Sunday!” It could
be an athlete thinking he’s too good to date a girl in his youth group because
she’s not cool enough to hang with the cheerleaders on his field… Another time!
I always tell my boys “Nobody likes a know-it-all
and nobody likes a bragger!” Boasting only confirms that you need
appreciation from others and others is not who we should be seeking
appreciation from. It does not boast!
“There is a thin line between confidence and arrogance. It’s called
humility. Confidence smiles. Arrogance smirks.”
Nobody likes that guy!
Don’t be that guy!
When I got a Date to the banquet but my best friend was asked to do
childcare… It
is not proud! or arrogant.
Don’t ask her to help you with your hair and post a
million selfies to rub in her face #MissYouGirl #WishYouWereHere! There is a
difference in being proud of who you are, where you came from and what you’ve
accomplished vs. looking down on people that are currently where you used to
be. Making something good out of a bad situation doesn’t make you better than
someone else still struggling to find their way. We are instructed in the Bible
to Love as Christ Loved!
“Arrogance is used by the weak, while
kindness is used by the strong.”
When my Mom asks me to Coffee but I decline because I have to run a
Marathon knowing I have a bad ankle and couldn’t run if someone paid me to… It does not
dishonor others!
Being dishonest is just another way to be rude! Why lie?
Are we ashamed of the truth? Are we embarrassed? Do we assume we will be judged?
There are so many reasons why a person justifies dishonesty. The bottom line
here is that regardless of what others think of you, God is the one to judge
you. Tell the truth, even when it makes things awkward. Just say “Mom,
I’m extremely tired! I’ve got so much on my plate right now and I just can’t
drive 45 minutes to have only 15 minutes with you but I will do it if you stay
longer or take me to Olive Garden.” Now, that’s what I would say to
my Mom… what you say is between you and God… and your Mom.
We play into the “Golden Rule” here as well. Wouldn’t
you rather someone tell you the truth rather than fabricate a story?
When your Wife wants to go on a Cruise but you want to go to the
Mountains just like the last 10 years… It is not self-seeking!
A relationship of any kind is a two-way street so if you
have one person doing all the work, it will surely fail! Selfishness is the
enemy of love!! You must learn to join someone else’s interest with your own.
You cannot always “have it your way”! like Burger King! We have to grow up
and be a team player!
When he smiles at another girl but just told me to “get over it” in the
car… It is
not easily angered!
REPEAT: It is
not easily angered! We have to
make sure we aren’t treating everyone else around us better than our spouse!
Remember you chose this person to have and to hold, for better or worse, for
richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to LOVE and to CHERISH til death do you part! That was
you saying those things… No one forced you.
Don’t allow the enemy to bring you down and play tricks
on your mind making you think he’d rather be with someone else. He chose you
and guys don’t forget that you chose her. Make sure no matter how bad she cooks
your grits (pushes your buttons) Make it all right! NEVER go to bed angry! Never hang up
the phone or leave each other without saying “I Love You!”
When he promised a date night but forgot to plan it for the 3rd
time in a row… It
keeps no record of wrongs!
We know he never forgets when the
Braves are playing or exactly where they rank in the league but never mind that.
If I don’t get to dress up, get a babysitter, order of the Adult menu and get
coffee afterwards… Don’t waste your time. I am the Queen of my castle not the
Inn Keeper!
Plan that date guys… We may be living in 2018 but it’s
still your job to flirt with and put effort into your relationship! Just
because you’re married doesn’t mean you get a free pass to stop dating your
wife or husband. Don’t be scared of the word “date”, it’s like we automatically cringe and assume our
bank account is about to get hit hard. Learn what you can/can do on your budget
and then get creative. What works for my marriage might not for yours. Spend time
together according to your interest!
I will say from experience if I want it bad enough, I
have been known to call the Church Office and put it on the Calendar. That’s
how I hold up my Neon “Can You Hear Me Now?” sign.
Even if you don’t get exactly what you want, don’t hold it over his head or
punish him…. Keep No Record Of Wrong! That’s no
way to live!
Knowing you
ate the last limited edition white chocolate covered Oreo but want to blame it
on the kids… Love
does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth!
True love
rejoices in what is right and good! True love has nothing to hide! Also, it
doesn’t gloat over someone else’s guilt which can be hard to do when you are
the one who was craving those Oreos all day! Don’t throw their indiscretions in
their face. Forgive it and LET IT GO!
Cherishing
calls us to go to war against contempt… It always protects!
We have to guard our flesh against contempt towards our
spouse. We learn so much about each other in pre-marital counseling but it’s
not until we live with one another that we sometimes think “Oh. That’s what he meant in
that session 6 weeks ago.” When you cherish your spouse the way you
professed you would taking your vows, you are willing to put yourself second to
protect them. You protect their reputation
by not sharing every detail of their “private”
life with your closest friends. If we aren’t careful we can quickly move from
cherishing to contempt! It starts with disappointment – frustration –
bitterness – contempt! I don’t want to sound like your Pastor here but before
you can have a Happy Marriage where you don’t just love your spouse but you
like or cherish them, it is first a spiritual journey. You can’t just assume
great sex or epic dates will make your relationship happy! Once you have taken
this plunge, it will spill over into your marriage and as long as you water
that spiritual love garden, your marriage will be protected from contempt.
When he tells you, there is no one else for him and the way you feel is
all in your head… Always trust!
Let me first say to the men, don’t
ever, ever tell your wife “it’s all in
your head and I can’t help you with that.” No sir! Never! It is very
possible that many things are only relevant in her squishy little “head world” but it will only cause a
Mt. Vesuvius size eruption in your day to point out that fact! Compliments are
never a bad idea, find something good to say about your spouse and say it! If
you love those sparkly blue eyes, mention it as often as you can! If he makes
you melt like butter on a hot biscuit when he walks in the room, tell him! I
enjoy watching my husband get extremely uncomfortable when I tell him the way
he makes me feel! The enemy as we’ve been taught so often will ride in on any
train and your marriage is a train he stays on! Trust each other!
“Hope anchors the soul” –Hebrews 6:19
We always have hope!
There is no one that can take that from you! Hope is medicine for your soul. No matter your
circumstance, your upbringing, your faults, your hurts, there is always hope for more or better.
We have a choice and choosing hope can bring light to your darkest night. Never in a million
years would I have dreamed that a little girl raised by a single Mom because of
a homeless Dad bound by addiction could
be here, married to a Pastor but I had hope! Life wanted to knock me off my feet and take
away hope but I had a fire deep inside that begged for more. I refused to be a
prisoner to the chains life had given me. I say that because it’s very easy to
be like Lots wife and look back. It’s not always easy to believe that I deserve
to be happy. My hope
gave me life, which gave me love, which fuels my motivation to be better.
When you have
no idea how you are going to pay your bills… It always perseveres!
“But he, that dares not grasp the thorn
should never crave the rose” – Anne Bronte
Love will bring
hard times that doesn’t mean we should walk away from it. The passion marriage
and love will bring you is worth the trials. Learn to fight! We can fight
through prayer, caring, showing concern and just being there when your spouse
needs you! Every problem doesn’t mean throwing in the towel! We have to learn
to communicate without screaming or getting mad. Fight in love!
“Love is a rare
rose, the perfume intoxicating and picked by fingers oblivious to the thorns.”
–Michael Faudet
LOVE NEVER FAILS!
While these
analogies may not apply to your marriage the principasl can save you from one
day choosing wrong. These are real-life problems that many couples face. I love
how raw and unfiltered the Bible is. What I have shared with you is why
this Chapter famously known as “The Love Chapter” is my all-time
favorite.
Love is an
emotion that can teach us so much in every relationship!
Love is about commitment and while it may endure or put up with a lot, it never fails!
“Do small things with great love.” –Mother Teresa
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