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Love Never Fails

1 Corinthinas 13:4-8
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

My hope is through breaking down this scripture by using some possibly outlandish scenarios that you can learn how to apply a love like God intended to your marriage.

   When I don’t understandLove is patient!
I’ve asked him a million times to take out the trash. Why am I still doing it? Honey, eventually he’s going to catch on but better than disrespecting him; treat him with love. Keep cooking, cleaning and taking care of his kids without complaining and trust me, he will soon see how great not only your love but your respect is for him and he will in turn say
 “Hey, Babe is there anything I can do to help you today?” HELLO! LIGHTBULD! THERE IT IS! Don’t be like me and say “No. I’m good!” Tell him what you need from him. Trust me EVERYTHING in your relationship will get better! But until then… Be patient!

  When he walks through the door after a hard day… Love is kind!
Now this one has to be one of the harder ones for me! We have to remember that just because we had a bad day at work, or our kid got detention for the 15th time this Month, or we had to deal with a lunatic on ebay… None of this is the fault of our significant other! So, test yourself the next time you are in a permanent state of frustration and the blood vessels in your eyeballs are about to explode.
 Stop! Take a deep breath! Turn down that stinkin’ TV! Put your phone down and say “Hey babe! How was your day? Mine was touch and go but it just got better” 

I understand that maybe we can’t all live in a constant state of sunshine, rainbows, unicorns and cotton candy but we can at least try to lay aside that weight of STRESS and choose Kindness towards the ones we love most!

   When I’m home with sick kids while he has adult conversations… It does not envy!
All the Moms say “Amen!” Sometimes as a Mom, it’s easy to forget who you are as an individual. You are always know as “Michael’s Wife or “Corban & Logan’s  Mom” Does anyone know your birth given name? If they do, they can’t spell it… Anyways, we have to remember that no matter where we are in life, we may be dating and want marriage, we may be newlyweds that want to get out of our tiny apartment, we may be stuck in the friend zone. God has a reason for you being where you are. Stages and Seasons of life don’t last forever.
Do not envy the place you are not. It will soon become deep seeded and take you away from your purpose.

   When I got a raise at work and he got laid offIt does not boast!
My husband got laid off yesterday but I got a raise today!! Most any man has one purpose once he gets married and that is to provide for his family. Not being able to do so only makes him feel like a failure. Even your good intentions to keep the family a float can come across like “we are better off without you.” This is just a fictional example of boasting.
Mark 10:8 “No longer two but one.” What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours. We are leading separate lives but instead complimenting each other so lets not get stuck bragging about who’s better and who’s worse.

It can also be the guitar player thinking no one else can handle the music because “Hey, did you hear me kill that song last Sunday!It could be an athlete thinking he’s too good to date a girl in his youth group because she’s not cool enough to hang with the cheerleaders on his field… Another time!
I always tell my boys “Nobody likes a know-it-all and nobody likes a bragger!” Boasting only confirms that you need appreciation from others and others is not who we should be seeking appreciation from. It does not boast!

“There is a thin line between confidence and arrogance. It’s called humility. Confidence smiles. Arrogance smirks.”

Nobody likes that guy! Don’t be that guy!

   When I got a Date to the banquet but my best friend was asked to do childcare… It is not proud! or arrogant.
Don’t ask her to help you with your hair and post a million selfies to rub in her face #MissYouGirl #WishYouWereHere! There is a difference in being proud of who you are, where you came from and what you’ve accomplished vs. looking down on people that are currently where you used to be. Making something good out of a bad situation doesn’t make you better than someone else still struggling to find their way. We are instructed in the Bible to Love as Christ Loved!

“Arrogance is used by the weak, while kindness is used by the strong.”

  When my Mom asks me to Coffee but I decline because I have to run a Marathon knowing I have a bad ankle and couldn’t run if someone paid me to… It does not dishonor others!
Being dishonest is just another way to be rude! Why lie? Are we ashamed of the truth? Are we embarrassed? Do we assume we will be judged? There are so many reasons why a person justifies dishonesty. The bottom line here is that regardless of what others think of you, God is the one to judge you. Tell the truth, even when it makes things awkward. Just say “Mom, I’m extremely tired! I’ve got so much on my plate right now and I just can’t drive 45 minutes to have only 15 minutes with you but I will do it if you stay longer or take me to Olive Garden.” Now, that’s what I would say to my Mom… what you say is between you and God… and your Mom.
We play into the “Golden Rule” here as well. Wouldn’t you rather someone tell you the truth rather than fabricate a story?

  When your Wife wants to go on a Cruise but you want to go to the Mountains just like the last 10 years… It is not self-seeking!
A relationship of any kind is a two-way street so if you have one person doing all the work, it will surely fail! Selfishness is the enemy of love!! You must learn to join someone else’s interest with your own. You cannot always “have it your way”! like Burger King! We have to grow up and be a team player!

   When he smiles at another girl but just told me to “get over it” in the car… It is not easily angered!
REPEAT: It is not easily angered! We have to make sure we aren’t treating everyone else around us better than our spouse! Remember you chose this person to have and to hold, for better or worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to LOVE and to CHERISH til death do you part! That was you saying those things… No one forced you.
Don’t allow the enemy to bring you down and play tricks on your mind making you think he’d rather be with someone else. He chose you and guys don’t forget that you chose her. Make sure no matter how bad she cooks your grits (pushes your buttons) Make it all right! NEVER go to bed angry! Never hang up the phone or leave each other without saying “I Love You!”

   When he promised a date night but forgot to plan it for the 3rd time in a row… It keeps no record of wrongs!
            We know he never forgets when the Braves are playing or exactly where they rank in the league but never mind that. If I don’t get to dress up, get a babysitter, order of the Adult menu and get coffee afterwards… Don’t waste your time. I am the Queen of my castle not the Inn Keeper!
Plan that date guys… We may be living in 2018 but it’s still your job to flirt with and put effort into your relationship! Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you get a free pass to stop dating your wife or husband. Don’t be scared of the word “date”, it’s like we automatically cringe and assume our bank account is about to get hit hard. Learn what you can/can do on your budget and then get creative. What works for my marriage might not for yours. Spend time together according to your interest!
I will say from experience if I want it bad enough, I have been known to call the Church Office and put it on the Calendar. That’s how I hold up my Neon “Can You Hear Me Now?” sign. Even if you don’t get exactly what you want, don’t hold it over his head or punish him…. Keep No Record Of Wrong! That’s no way to live!

Knowing you ate the last limited edition white chocolate covered Oreo but want to blame it on the kids… Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth!
       True love rejoices in what is right and good! True love has nothing to hide! Also, it doesn’t gloat over someone else’s guilt which can be hard to do when you are the one who was craving those Oreos all day! Don’t throw their indiscretions in their face. Forgive it and LET IT GO!

Cherishing calls us to go to war against contempt… It always protects!
         We have to guard our flesh against contempt towards our spouse. We learn so much about each other in pre-marital counseling but it’s not until we live with one another that we sometimes think “Oh. That’s what he meant in that session 6 weeks ago.” When you cherish your spouse the way you professed you would taking your vows, you are willing to put yourself second to protect them. You protect their reputation by not sharing every detail of their “private” life with your closest friends. If we aren’t careful we can quickly move from cherishing to contempt! It starts with disappointment – frustration – bitterness – contempt! I don’t want to sound like your Pastor here but before you can have a Happy Marriage where you don’t just love your spouse but you like or cherish them, it is first a spiritual journey. You can’t just assume great sex or epic dates will make your relationship happy! Once you have taken this plunge, it will spill over into your marriage and as long as you water that spiritual love garden, your marriage will be protected from contempt.

When he tells you, there is no one else for him and the way you feel is all in your head… Always trust!
       Let me first say to the men, don’t ever, ever tell your wife “it’s all in your head and I can’t help you with that.” No sir! Never! It is very possible that many things are only relevant in her squishy little “head world” but it will only cause a Mt. Vesuvius size eruption in your day to point out that fact! Compliments are never a bad idea, find something good to say about your spouse and say it! If you love those sparkly blue eyes, mention it as often as you can! If he makes you melt like butter on a hot biscuit when he walks in the room, tell him! I enjoy watching my husband get extremely uncomfortable when I tell him the way he makes me feel! The enemy as we’ve been taught so often will ride in on any train and your marriage is a train he stays on! Trust each other!

 When you are dealing with hard time but still find the strength to try… It always hopes!
            “Hope anchors the soul” –Hebrews 6:19 We always have hope! There is no one that can take that from you! Hope is medicine for your soul. No matter your circumstance, your upbringing, your faults, your hurts, there is always hope for more or better. We have a choice and choosing hope can bring light to your darkest night. Never in a million years would I have dreamed that a little girl raised by a single Mom because of a  homeless Dad bound by addiction could be here, married to a Pastor but I had hope! Life wanted to knock me off my feet and take away hope but I had a fire deep inside that begged for more. I refused to be a prisoner to the chains life had given me. I say that because it’s very easy to be like Lots wife and look back. It’s not always easy to believe that I deserve to be happy. My hope gave me life, which gave me love, which fuels my motivation to be better.

When you have no idea how you are going to pay your bills… It always perseveres!

    “But he, that dares not grasp the thorn should never crave the rose” – Anne Bronte

Love will bring hard times that doesn’t mean we should walk away from it. The passion marriage and love will bring you is worth the trials. Learn to fight! We can fight through prayer, caring, showing concern and just being there when your spouse needs you! Every problem doesn’t mean throwing in the towel! We have to learn to communicate without screaming or getting mad. Fight in love!

“Love is a rare rose, the perfume intoxicating and picked by fingers oblivious to the thorns.” –Michael Faudet

LOVE NEVER FAILS!

While these analogies may not apply to your marriage the principasl can save you from one day choosing wrong. These are real-life problems that many couples face. I love how raw and unfiltered the Bible is. What I have shared with you is why this Chapter famously known as “The Love Chapter” is my all-time favorite.
Love is an emotion that can teach us so much in every relationship!
Love is about commitment and while it may endure or put up with a lot, it never fails!

“Do small things with great love.” –Mother Teresa





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