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Fathomless Billows Of Love

On this day 12 years ago I lost my brother. I remember the sound of the voice on the other side of the phone telling us to come to the hospital. I remember being cold. I remember the sounds of the chaos around me. I remember the chair I sat in as I watched my mom try to be strong. I remember so many little details but mainly I remember the giant hole it left in my heart!

Nothing can ever separate us from [God's] love. ... I remember singing 
    • Peace, peace, wonderful peace,
      Coming down from the Father above!
      Sweep over my spirit forever, I pray
      In fathomless billows of love!

What does "Fathomless billows of love" even mean
Fathomless means something that can't be understood; a billow is like a cloud swelling because of a sudden surge.

So...... as many times as I questioned God's presence, his love never failed. It comes in waves and blows into my soul in a way that I can't understand. It soothes just when I can't handle another blow. It embraces me when my strength is gone. It holds me up when I can't stand.

I am so thankful to be a Pastor's Wife/Youth President's Wife so I can share my testimony. God has given me a platform to speak into the lives of students.

As hard as it is to re-live this day every year, I had to call my mother this morning to tell her I was involved in a wreck. I could hear the tone change and the worry set in as I reassured her I was ok and had no desire to leave her!

It has been a tough couple of weeks. I have lived an emotional roller coaster. I had surgery, watched a very close friend move away, went to an Aunt's funeral who bravely battled cancer for the past 5 years, traveled to an amazing Church Conference, had a wreck in my husbands car on the same day as my brothers death!!!!!

In all that I am still happy! I still have everything to live for! God is so good and there is no life I would rather live! 


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